By Zedruu the Greathearted

It is the will of Zedruu.

It is the will of Zedruu that you should have … this Howling Mine.

Take it.

I bequeath it to you.

While you possess it, it shall draw both of us extra cards.

I’m going to gain a life now.

It is the will of Zedruu that you should have … these Goblin Cadets.

May they serve you well. Although they flinch in battle, they occasionally reach through to an opponent.

I want you to have them.

I will be over here, drawing extra cards.

It is the will of Zedruu that you should have … the rest of this sandwich.

Do you not want the rest of this sandwich?

I haven’t even eaten half of it.

It is good, it is an asiago turkey club.

From Panera.

Right, the one near the college.

It is the will of Zedruu that you should take the sandwich, and finish most of it.

Take it. I insist.

I will be over here, gaining extra life.

It is the will of Zedruu that you should have … this parking ticket.

I obtained it downtown.

How was I to know that that was a one-hour parking zone?

It is ironic that I should get a parking ticket so near the courthouse.

You see, I will have to go back there to pay it.

Take it.

You should have the parking ticket. I insist.

I will just … there. I will just draw this extra card.

It is the will of Zedruu that you should have … this cold.

Yes. It is a doozy.

I missed a day of work because of it.

There you go. You’ll start sneezing soon.

I will be over here, drawing extra cards.

I feel better already.

It is the will of Zedruu that you should have … this venereal disease.

It is my gift to you.

Don’t worry, it is a minor one.

It’s not one of the big ones.

Just some weird goat VD.

A doctor will clear it right up.

Try not to scratch when it itches.

I will be over here, gaining extra life.

Ah, that’s so much better.

It is the will of Zedruu that you should have many pleasing things.

Here, this is a bag of used needles.