So I'm playing Kaalia and I declare attackers I play out my utvara hell kite. Do I gain a token?

Second scenario

I declare Kaalia as an attacker and my steelhellkite I drop utvara. Do I get two tokens?

Third scenario I declare Kaalia as an attacker and utvara hellkite. I play out dragon tyrant! Do I get two tokens?

No to all of them. Things that happen when ~x attacks are triggered when you declare them as attacking. In every scenario, the cards in question are never declared as attacking, but placed in the battlefield attacking, so you will not get the triggers. This is why Rakdos the Defiler is the key card in 1v1 Kalia decks, his trigger never happens so you don't have to sacrifice any permanent.