A word on Manners, Respect, and Common Courtesy

TLDR: Manners, honesty, common sense, and communication will save you and everyone you trade with a lot of headaches. Please, use them.

    I’m going to preface this post with the fact that I am not a mod, or in any way connected to this site beyond being a longtime (Almost 10 years, and almost 1k trades at the time of this writing) user, and a very active trader. I have no intention of offending anyone, calling anyone out, or stepping on anyone's toes. After noting certain trends among traders for some time, I decided to make this post in the hopes that anyone who reads it might take something from it, and put some of these habits into practice.

    I've connected and communicated with a lot of people through DB, and at this point have a strong core circle of users I feel I can wholly trust and reliably trade with. This sort of connection has formed due to a strong sense of respect and goodwill shared throughout regular trades, and repetition of a few core traits that I think are a necessity for a long term tenure here, and an untarnished reputation. So I thought I’d share those facets of manners and common sense in trade that I feel have worked for me, and that I look for when trading with others, BECAUSE they’ve worked for me. As always, these are my opinions only, so feel free to ignore me if that’s your call. Everything I post here is done in a sense of good will, and the betterment of everyone’s experience.

When proposing a trade:

• Read the potential trader’s bio, if they’ve completed it. Traders post things here because they want people to see the information, know what they expect from a trade, and spare both traders headaches from needless questions, delays due to restrictions on their own wants or needs, etc. Reading a bio saves a lot of unnecessary back and forth, and can help to streamline the whole experience.

• Say something when proposing. This is admittedly a massive pet peeve of mine. To quote another bio I read at some point (Apologies, I cannot remember the exact source), sending a trade without something in the chat is akin to walking up to me and slapping me in the face with your trade binder. Even if it’s something as simple as ‘Any interest’, or ‘What do you think about this?’, anything is better than nothing.

• Be flexible with your trade offer. I personally only ever fill out what I want from the other trader, and allow them to choose what they’d like in exchange. I’ve also had people pitch their specific cards to me, then get irritable when I counteroffer. It’s good to remember that not all cards are created equal, and personal want/need/opinion factors in heavily. Don’t try to make the choice for them.

• Take a hint/don’t be a pest. I kept trying to think of a better way to put this, but in the end, some people just aren’t going to want to trade with you, for whatever reason. Even if you have cards they list on their wishlist, if they’ve declined the trade (politely or otherwise), ignored you, or otherwise made it even semi-clear that they’re not interested, move on with your life and seek your wants elsewhere. I tend to leave something along the lines of ‘OK, thanks – feel free to hit me up if anything changes’. This leaves the ball in their court if they DO change their minds, and has had returns for me on at least 2 occasions that I can think of.

When receiving a trade offer:

• Please have the decency to respond. More than anything else, my #1 complaint about past failed trades is that, despite being on the site (DB does show when you were on last, for those who aren’t aware), traders have left my requests sitting to rot. Even something as simple as ‘No thanks’, or ‘I’ll take a look later on’ is better than mausoleum silence. Even cancelling it outright is better than just leaving it there. I personally give a few days before cancelling – and likely won’t hit that person up again any time soon (Though, as stated in my bio, I’m always open to re-connection if they reach out after the fact).

• Be up front if you’re expecting a premium for trading up, etc. Don’t wait until the final ‘draft’ to insert the requirement after the fact. This leaves a sour taste in peoples’ mouths, and that’s not (I assume) what most of us are looking for on the site.

General all-around goodness for all parties:

• Update your bio. I personally adjust mine fairly regularly. As mentioned above, this is where you want to post notices for other traders, so they know what to anticipate when trading with you. Value limits (≥ $20), trade restrictions (RL for RL only), or language restrictions (Eng/Fre only) are good examples of what to put here, as well as if you require any form of premium (+10% for trading up), or don’t want specific variants of cards (Mystery Boosters, etc.). Many traders often post their preferences (I prefer foils and special variants, for example), as well as any sealed product they have for trade (Someone PLEASE take my ONE EDH decks ). The more you have here, the less you have to explain mid-trade (And often across multiple trades).

• Verify your stock to the best of your ability. We’ve all had the experience – we get excited about a trade only to find out that the card in question is nowhere to be found. It happens, and again, any reasonable trader will understand that mistakes are part of being human. But preventative inventory can be a huge help in avoiding these issues. In a similar vein, don’t list cards on your tradelist that you’re unwilling to trade. I’ve never understood this practice, and again, it just leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

• COMMUNICATE. This is my #1 request of ALL traders I deal with. The following line is copied verbatim from my profile: Communication is key. If you have an error on your end, or are delayed in shipment, it's fine - just tell me; we can work through anything with communication.

• Be honest about things (i.e. Communicate, part 2). If a card isn’t the description you have listed, let the other trader know before you send it. Ideally, before the trade is finalized, but again, a reasonable person will understand if you communicate before you ship. This allows you to discuss any offset or exchange for the card if condition is important to the receiver, and can allow for cancellation of the trade if necessary before it turns into something that either takes far too long, or you need to call in a moderator for. I’ve experienced this a few times myself, and talking things out has always worked out in the end.

• Ship when and how you say you’re going to ship (Communicate, part 3).  Life happens – no reasonable person is going to get angry with you because something came up and caused a delay. Again, just communicate. That said, don’t BS other traders. That same reasonable person might not be so understanding if you say you’ll ship on Friday, but by the following week you haven’t moved despite being active, and haven’t bothered to notify them of any delays. In the same vein, posting tracking numbers that are generated online and marking them as shipped works against you if you wait a week to send. Again, be clear, honest, and straightforward when communicating these deals, so no one is inclined to slap your reputation.

• Don't ghost, especially mid-trade. This falls in line with the communication, but the closest I've eveer gotten to leaving negative feedback (I don't, ftr; I just block you) was when we finalized a trade and the other side just stopped talking. Very bad form - if you change your mind, it's frustrating, but much better to cancel than to abandon the other person without a statement or explanation.

• Leave feedback, especially when it’s positive. This is how we grow on this site as a trader, and how other traders know we can be relied upon. I currently have a reputation score of almost 1k, but if I went back through my trades, I’m sure I’d be over that benchmark if I included all the people who never left me feedback. Help out your fellow traders, especially newer traders who might get glossed over without your help.

• Be kind, or at the very least, courteous. We all have things going on beyond this site and these games, but none of that is what we’re here for. We’re here because we enjoy the game and/or the cards, and want to share that enjoyment, even if it’s just through trade, with others. We are a community first and foremost, and it’s important to remember that this is supposed to be fun. So let’s keep it that way.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading, and I hope that these words help. Be amazing, stay amazing, and happy trading.

~S~

Last edited by Sightburner (2023-12-20 15:23:03)